Don't Push Me, 'Cause I'm Close To Losing My Religion and Running With the Devil

Before we head into a day of trivial matters like the biennial budget for the State of Ohio, we have something important to talk about: The inductions into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this week. This year saw the induction of the first rap act -- Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. And rock purists are not happy.

I'm not happy that there are such things as rock purists. A rock purist is like a purist member of the American Mongrel Club. This is rock after all, the polyglot, unprofessional, countercultural, youth-obsessed, stripped-down, built-up, mindless, brainy, undefinable scourge of uptight polite society. Rock is supposed to bug people, especially grown-ups. Rock purists are the parents your friends warned you about.

Rap is a part of rock just like the Black music that spawned rock, split off from it and merged back again. One can't seriously define rock to exclude rap without that definition also ruling out R&B, soul and funk. Some people might be OK with that, but frankly they ain't rock and roll if they do.

Moreover, if the Hall keeps rap out, it will sign its own death warrant. If the Hall is to maintain an audience as baby boomers age out, it has to continue to induct the acts that people listened to as they came of age. For people just a little younger than me, that increasingly means rap. Grandmaster Flash's signature single -- "The Message" -- hit the charts my freshman year in college. For a white boy from the 'burbs attending a small liberal arts school in the sticks, it was a revelation.

As for Grandmaster Flash, I'm happy the Hall chose him as the inagural rap act. They could have waited a couple years for Run/DMC, but that would have slighted the subgenre by ignoring its first great hitmaker. They could have inducted even earlier rap pioneers like Sugarhill Gang or Kurtis Blow or Afrika Bambaataa, but that would have given more fuel to the anti-rap forces.

With "The Message," Grandmaster Flash shook things up. He spoke great truths and did so by making lots of noise.. He comforted the afflicted but mostly afflicted the comfortable. And he modified his own equipment to do it. And after he hit it big, he developed a spectacular drug problem. How much more rock and roll can a guy get?

Jamie's Laughing

People are also upset that Van Halen is in. Unlike Grandmaster Flash, it's hard to make the case for VH as a seminal group -- in the sense of influencing other acts, they certainly were in the other sense. And in fact that was the problem. Few would have a problem seeing Eddie Van Halen in the Hall, brilliant technician that he is. The problem is David Lee Roth.

Like Flash, David Lee spoke truths. Just not great truths. Up until Diamond Dave came on the scene, rocks prevailing view of itself was that rock artists said Big Things and made Great Music and were generally Really Quite Important and that, oh by the way, as a reward they got laid a lot. David Lee Roth proudly proclaimed that it is all about getting laid.

This was nearly the first time anyone said this out loud, without irony or shame, and without backing down. Grand Funk Railroad made noises along those lines and were widely derided for it, so they cut "I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home." Roth caught flak for being all about the party and he wrote "Hot for Teacher."

Certainly he had talent as a vocalist -- an impressive range, great expressiveness and undeniable stage presence. So ultimately anti-Roth bias is a bit of rock hypocrisy. It didn't help that he had no comeuppance. Sure, there was a pot bust, but Roth failed to crash and burn in any meaningful way. Eddie, the one we liked, missed the Induction ceremony to go back into rehab. David Lee Roth had a great time, made no bones about it, and paid no discernable price. Bastard.

Things are only going to get rockier for the Hall from here in. What other rap acts get in? What about pop-metal arena acts like Motley Crue or Def Leppard? Harder metal like Guns and Roses and Metallica will get in, but what about true hardcore metal like Slayer or Pantera?

Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for many of the acts that influenced the music I loved best back in the day. Aside from The Ramones and The Velvet Underground, few of the forebears of punk and "alternative" rock are in. Where are Big Star, New York Dolls, Wire, Television or The Feelies? We're still waiting.