Friday, November 18, 2005

Friday Random Ten

Akron Zoo Edition

1. "Suddenly, Everything Has Changed," Flaming Lips
2. "Monday," Wilco
3. "Don't Cha Wanna Ride," Joss Stone
4. "Share the Fall," Roni Size and Reprazement
5. "White Light/White Heat," Velvet Underground
6. "Long Snake Moan," P.J. Harvey
7. "Natural Blues," Moby
8. "Stuart," Dead Milkmen
9. "Dos Gardenias," Ibrahim Ferrer and the Buena Vista Social Club
10. "The Sporting Life," The Decembrists

"Stuart," is the reason I get a silly grin when I take my kids to the zoo and we visit the concession stand on the way to the petting zoo. They have a burrow owl exhibit there. I had never heard of burrow owls until the Milkmen filled me in.

Stuart is a dramatic monologue between to guys "here, in this trailer park" about "what the queers are doing to the soil." Here's the relevant verse:

"Y'know that Johnny Warstler kid, delivers papers in the neighborhood?
He's a fine kid.
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.
Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl.
Kept buggin' his old man.
'Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything as long as I live.'
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
So the other night, I see the Warstler kid looking up in a tree.
I say, 'what are you looking for?'
Said, 'I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I said, "JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK!
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT A BURROW OWL LIVES
IN A HOLE!!
IN THE GROUND!!!
WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT A BURROW OWL ANYWAY!!??!?!???
Now STUART, how is a kid like that supposed to understand
What the queers are doing to the soil?"

The Milkmen are funny, but so hit-or-miss as to make Al Franken look like a model of comedic consistency. "Stuart" is one song that cracks me up everytime I hear it.

4 comments:

ProgressiveDepot said...

I like you, Stuart.

I have that CD, and there are about 27 songs on it, which might explain the inconsistency. Punk Rock Girl is one of my all-time favorites, but much of their music is unlistenable, not even really music half the time..

Anonymous said...

Just so you know I checked the Moby Grape and BST out of the library after your previous recommendations. But I have been so damn busy getting ready for finals I have not listened yet. Perhaps on the plane to FL the day after finals thank you Air Tran...

Pho said...

Prog:

That's always been the rap on the Milkmen -- too many ideas, no filter for the bad ones. I got "Stuart" off of the best-of collection Death Rides a Pale Cow. Even the best-of collection is half crap (and it contains neither "Bottle Jesus" nor "Taking Retards to the Zoo.")

A:

I'm glad you're giving them a try. I hope you got BST's Child is the Father to the Man. BST was founded by legendary guitarist Al Cooper, who was summarily drummed out of the group after Child. The later catalogue contains hits, but it's more standard-issue blue-eyed soul.

el Jefe said...

You know what, Stuart, I like you.. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park.